LawTalk catches up with six leaders in their field; a lawyer and wellbeing author, heads of professional membership organisations and the head of a large firm to hear how they manage their personal wellbeing and how this influences their actions and others.
Law Society Vice President, Wellington and Director, Family Law Specialists Ltd, Auckland
As a leader and team member alike, I’m a big believer of finding where your recharge “powerpoints” are, and making sure you are regularly plugging into them to top up your batteries. I have a combination of recharging points. Which one is best at any time depends on my energy levels as well as capacity. Recharging for me includes some time with my people and time out of the office, either at home or travelling (near and far).
I also really believe in having a big recharge planned every year to look forward to. A time to down tools, spend time with your people and do what brings you joy. We encourage our staff to take holidays and our office closes for at least three weeks each summer to ensure that everyone has a decent break.
Our team will tell you that I go to Samoa at least once a year (although it is sometimes for fa'alavelave¹ – it is still always good to go home!). It is imperative for my wellbeing, spiritual, emotional and physical, to connect with the homeland and my aiga on a regular basis.
The directors in our practice all try to get out of the office on time, as close to 5pm as we can, and we encourage our team to do the same. We all take regular fresh air breaks, to walk around the beautiful place that is Porirua. The directors also have professional supervision and encourage and support our team to do the same.
It might sound obvious, but it really is the simple things that make the biggest difference: stay hydrated, get fresh air, stay active and enjoy yourself. Sometimes when you’re working flat out, you forget to hydrate, forget to go outside, forget to move your tinana and forget to have a laugh. Making sure that you get these basics in, when we are so time poor, can seem like a frivolous use of time. However, they should be the non-negotiables of your every day and given priority for your wellbeing. We recognise that this is not always possible, but even a quick 10 minutes around the block on a sunny afternoon can lift your energy levels.
Also very important is making sure to find some time every week to do things that bring you joy. What we do can be stressful, so I have to remind myself – don’t take yourself too seriously!
You can’t pour from an empty cup!
The profession is a broad church, I suspect our younger colleagues may be a bit better at keeping their cups full. They grew up talking about ‘filling their buckets” and they may be able to teach us a thing or two about bucket or cup filling. What I would say is it is important for all of us to be able to recognise when our cup is empty, or our batteries are dying, and to plug into our nearest available recharge point. We need to make sure that whilst we are ‘doing the do’ we aren’t pouring from an empty cup.
In Samoa we have a saying “E le sua se lolo i se popo e tasi” which literally translates to “you can't get a flow of coconut oil from just one coconut” – meaning sometimes it takes more than one person to solve a problem, more than one pair of hands to carry a load – it’s important that we reach out as needed to fill our cup!
Tumuaki | Director, Whāia Legal and Male Co-Tumuaki, Te Hunga Rōia Māori o Aotearoa (Māori Law Society)
To try to be honest and realistic about what can be achieved. This year I got a life coach and it has been instrumental in breaking bad habits and helping me to realise the huge damaging impact of stress. I have a few close mentors who I rely on for advice about my professional wellbeing, and my family is critical in ensuring that I feel good in my personal wellbeing. Help is available to people who reach out and ask for it.
I try to make sure our team is looked after. The team includes each of our whānau. We do this because if we build a law firm culture that place the team and their whānau at the centre, and recognises the importance of whānau contribution, then everything falls into place, we are stronger and can support our clients better. When one member of the team is unavailable, we rally to support that individual and their whānau. We have a dedicated hauora budget for each staff member where they are encouraged to do something positive for their wellbeing, as well as additional leave for kura reo to encourage them to continue on their reo journey.
I learnt this year how important it is to plan your time and communicate what you can realistically achieve. Communication is key – to employers, to staff and to clients. Most people will understand if you are going through a rough time or have whānau commitments. Those who do not are not likely to share the same values as you and you should think carefully about other options.
Manage client expectations and communicate clearly with them. Providing excellent service does not mean you have to drop everything. Also, employers should encourage staff to plan to take time off as early in the year as possible, so staff have something to look forward to.
One obvious change is greater utilisation of working from home arrangements, which are becoming more commonplace. The changing of workplace culture is also evident. Tikanga Māori is becoming more commonplace and is, for many Māori lawyers, a source of wellbeing for them.
Chief Executive Partner, Chapman Tripp
There is a lot of talk about ‘wellbeing’ both inside and outside the workplace. My starting point is that if the individual isn’t in a good space, their work reflects that, and the culture of the company is impacted by that. This applies to me also – if my wellbeing isn’t good it impacts the people I work with – and live with!
Yes, working in a law firm can require hard work and be stressful. But, there are a lot of really rewarding aspects – including the exciting work we do and the great people we worth with, be they colleagues or clients. At a base level, my job is to make sure our people want to come to work and enjoy not just the work they are doing, but the people they work with, the culture of our firm and are well supported in the environment they are working in.
Personally I like to focus on having fun and being ‘happy’ – both as an individual and as a team. So, one of the key actions I take is to try and make my life (and the lives of the people I spend the day to day with) enjoyable, fun and valuable.
We also need to take care of ourselves. Health and exercise are so important. I am not a morning person, but (sometimes reluctantly) attend a cycle class or walk with my wife regularly. It makes such a difference to my resilience and focus. I might be grumpy if I have to get up early to do so, but I’m a lot worse if I don’t.
The occasional treat also helps. I enjoy the odd whisky at the end of the evening while watching a Jason Statham movie, fried chicken on a Friday lunchtime with a friend and the occasional piece of lolly cake when no one is looking. Discipline is an important characteristic in work and life, but so is balance.
My approach and mood inevitably affects those around me. If I have a bad day, it rubs off on others. If I am stressed, it will cause stress for others. Conversely, if I am happy and positive it is likely to rub off on those I interact with.
I do consciously try to make sure that my bad day doesn’t become the bad day of those around me. To be fair, I am probably better at that at work than at home – my (long-suffering) wife and daughters probably see more of the tired and grumpy Pip.
The basics. A smile and a thank you will often go a long way – both to the person saying thank you, and for the person receiving the thanks.
And the ability to say sorry, or “I was wrong”. It goes a long way, and people will respect you for doing so. It also will lift a weight from your shoulders and allow you to move on. Being able to listen is another critical skill, so that you can hear what the other person is actually trying to convey, rather than a one-way conversation.
To acknowledge to ourselves and each other that we work in a challenging and high stress environment. That we need to take care of ourselves and those around us. Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they’re ok. It shows you care.
And to be realistic with ourselves – we are not perfect and we can’t achieve the unachievable.
Health and exercise lifts the mood and clears the head. Be disciplined, but aim for balance. And while you’re being kind to others, don’t forget to use the same language on yourself – so many people don’t and it’s quite destructive.
I am optimistic for the future. Wellbeing is now very much front of mind, far more so than when I first started in law some 30-odd years ago! It’s a positive shift. There seems to be a joint acknowledgement that we each have a duty of care to ensure lawyers, and those who work with them, have the tools and environment available to help them lead their best lives, professionally fulfilled and personally, healthy and happy.
My only request is that we could share more. What has worked for some might inspire others to give it a go, and the same applies for what hasn’t worked. Communication across the wellbeing space will drive positive momentum for the whole profession.
Barrister and President NZ Asian Lawyers
I took no positive actions for my personal wellbeing for a considerable part of my career and I eventually realised that it would lead to burnout and so I made changes. Now I limit my work hours so there is time for selfcare. That includes limiting pro bono work which I used to do during non-work time. I now exercise every day, I don’t put off things that bring me joy – like a walk in the sunshine during a busy work day or a swim before work in the morning or being able to spend time with family or friends on week days. I ask myself what do I want – which is new.
My brain is the strongest part of me and being mentally strong and rested is key to my professional wellbeing. It helps with resilience which is critical in the legal profession and to react proportionately. I do not upset myself. Catastrophizing is wasted energy, as is attributing fault. Things go wrong. I search out good will and collegiality and I take advice where needed. I tell myself when I do a good job, and I try and be fair to myself when the result is not so good. I look for opportunities to make a difference, to have fun and to celebrate when there is a happy ending to cases and files.
I am a barrister and employ a full-time barrister and two part time law students. Now when I stop working, I make sure staff go home too. I ask them if we have to do this today or whether it can wait until tomorrow. I consult them and we say no when we are too busy. I break the stress of the day by making fresh fruit salad with mint from my garden and Greek yoghurt for everyone (manuka honey or passionfruit). Grapes and pineapple are staples. I throw in lychees, strawberries and mangoes when I can source these products. I bring in Kombucha I make with my son at home and we enjoy that together. Some staff like Jasmine and Green tea. Some like Strawberry tea and black tea.
Saying no to fee-paying and pro bono work when saying yes would mean no breaks and having to work continuous weekends. Being able to take a lunch break and having a five day week is pretty important! Not feeling like I am being chased by a tiger all day, every day has been lifechanging
There are three marriages in your life, not one – to your partner and family, to your work and to yourself. You cannot be sustainably successful in the law if you do not tend to the marriage to yourself, and sacrifice all for work and family. Especially in our profession, which requires empathy in dealing with people who are in difficult or impossible situations of hardship and complexity. You will quickly end up with compassion fatigue otherwise. You cannot be sustainably successful if you are not happy as you get better at law by accumulating experience and expertise. You have to hang in. You cannot be happy nor stay the course when you are exhausted. A good night’s sleep fixes almost anything, but you can only get enough sleep if you are not overcommitted all the time. It cannot be all overs and no unders. You have to learn to say no and reflect on where you can make a difference and where you need to let others do that. Be fair to yourself and remember that no one else’s view of you matters – only your own. Keep your reserves topped up. You know best how to do that. This is one of the most important jobs you have. Take it seriously.
Being honest that no one is Superman or Wonder Woman. We are just humans doing our best. Law is unforgiving and hard to get right. That is why wellbeing matters so much in our profession. I wished that had been emphasised to me earlier in my professional career. This focus in Law Talk is a good step in the right direction.
Barrister at Thorndon and Richmond Chambers and author of Zest: Climbing from Depression to Philosophy
I think space and stillness are important, not least to get out from under my own restless and ruminating thoughts and see things more clearly. So anything that encourages that. For me, walking and running are great, especially out in nature. Also music.
All the time, including in ways that I will have failed to notice. In my book, Zest, I discuss the aphorism (wrongly attributed to both Gandhi and Emerson) that our thoughts find their way into our words, actions, habits, values and destiny. How we construct our mental map of the world feeds organically and subconsciously into the judgements we make and the actions we take. Pretty much everything think, say or do (or don’t think, say or do) can influence someone else – and not always for the better. So I need to take care as I move through the world and always try to see outside of myself. (There is, I hasten to add, still much room for improvement.)
I’m someone who had to work quite hard to get out from under my own ego. Doing so (even for short periods!) has, I think, helped me build greater trust and connection with others. This makes me, and I hope the people around me, feel better and happier.
There are many wiser heads out there than me. And I am no fan of our current ‘wellness’ discourse, which to my ears can sometimes lean towards solipsism, which is why I prefer the lens of philosophy. Some good advice though, which I was given by a former English silk who is now a High Court Judge, is to treat each case like it is the most important thing in the world, all the while knowing that it really doesn’t matter at all. Put less paradoxically: remember that the attributes of perfectionism, single-mindedness and resolve that we hone in law school can also distort our perspective by narrowing it so that our take on the world occludes a great of what and who is really out there. I think it important and beneficial to strain against this reflex by trying to pay attention, be curious, and hold our stories – about ourselves and others – lightly.
Lawyers are smart and adaptable. Most importantly, we have learned how to disagree with each other without making the disagreement personal. So much division, misunderstanding and distress is caused by not being able to argue well, including by failing to separate propositions from the people who express them. We can avoid falling into this unfortunate habit. So long as we are prepared to keep trying to be self-aware and empathetic, I’m sure we have a bright future and a positive contribution to make to our communities.
Daniel Kalderimis KC is the author of Zest: Climbing From Depression to Philosophy (Ugly Hill Press, 2024), which Unity Books describes as “a beautifully written series of essays that explore philosophy and art and how they can help offer pathways into a healthier frame of mind”. Available in all good bookstores.
Managing Partner Harmans Lawyers Christchurch and Chair of the Law Society Property Law Section
The practice of the law can be an all-consuming task. Taking on the burdens, pressures or problems of clients to get them the best outcome possible is what we do. Beyond that there are pressures that arise from running a business and the curveballs life throws at you and your family from time to time. Traditionally I was an avid runner and that was a very productive way of dealing with stress. As I’ve got older and my body has more aches and pains, exercise is still the main way I try to look after myself. I like to walk my St Bernard each morning, although he is sometimes wilful and doesn’t want to go, and I will normally have a 20-30 minute walk with some of my colleagues at lunchtime. I also go to see a personal trainer each week, and he is a bit of a therapist for me too.
I try and reflect positive behaviour and make it clear that people taking a break from their desk to clear their head is to be encouraged. As a partnership we have recently brought in an initiative for partners to be able to seek professional supervision if they want to (mirroring the Family Court Lawyer for Child model). That might be used for self-improvement matters, or to discuss professional or personal matters that may be on their mind. The philosophy behind that is that you will be at your most productive if you are in a good space.
Staying healthy and exercising is important to me. I also need to be able to talk to people and keep all the projects I am involved with moving. Where I might get a little grumpy is when I haven’t been able to exercise, work is piling up and then something unexpected happens that creates further chaos. In times like that I prioritise getting back exercising again, ensure I am delegating work appropriately, and make sure I get a decent night’s sleep. Going back to basics (sleep, diet and exercise) is an important strategy when the stresses are getting a bit much.
It is so important to have a trusted person or two you can talk to about your concerns, whether professional or personal. The old adage of “a problem shared is a problem halved” rings very true for me. If you are facing issues and you don’t feel you have someone close to you to talk with, then take the time to speak with someone independent.
I feel that the profession is a lot more aware of the stresses practitioners face, and also that there are healthy ways to deal with them. Society as a whole is much more aware of health issues and there is a lot less stigma in that sphere compared to what there was historically. Keeping wellness as a topic that firms and practitioners are aware of, with practical tools available to latch onto when required, is important. I feel that Law Society has a big role to play in this as the representative body of the profession. Already we are seeing some good resources becoming available as part of the Practising Well programme.